


Tell Me I'm Good Enough (previously Home Is With You)

by dicksupdeansbutt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (originally Sam/Cas - but Dean joins very soon into the fic), AU Fic, Aftercare, Anal Sex, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean, Butt Plugs, Dean Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean and Sam aren't related either, Dean cries a lot in this fic but not because Cas and Sam are bad doms, Dean in Panties, Dom Castiel, Dom Sam, Flogging, Humiliation, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Multi, Nipple Play, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Panties, Safe Sane and Consensual, Self-Esteem Issues, Spanking, Sub Dean, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Dean, Top Sam, history of bad BDSM and bad doms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-10 09:18:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6977374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dicksupdeansbutt/pseuds/dicksupdeansbutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Cas are happily married, but they're both doms. This leads them to search for a sub - at first its just an arrangement with Dean who they meet through a BDSM club but soon it blossoms into something much more. Dean moves in with them and they explore a 24/7 relationship together.</p><p>(Everything is consensual and discussed beforehand even if its not explicitly stated in the fic all the time.)<br/>(Dean is 23, Cas and Sam are 27)</p><p>The title is a reference to a song by Darren Hayes called "Good Enough" as the lyrics of the song really fit Dean's feelings of insecurity and Sam and Cas's support and unconditional love for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

For Sam and Cas, they knew they loved each other right from the start. They met in college, Sam studying Law and Cas studying Medicine, and before they knew it they were dating and after the dating came their first time together which was followed by moving in with each other and before they knew it they were sharing a flat for the final two years of college.

It didn't take them long to figure something out about the other person. They both had dominant tendancies in bed. Some of the best sex they had was when they were both fighting for dominance over the other, but most of the time they were able to box it away and just have cute cuddly loving sex, murmuring softly to each other how much they loved them. Afterwards they'd lie in the soft afterglow, cuddled up together and thinking how lucky they'd got.

They got married pretty much as soon as they left college. Maybe it seemed too rushed and they seemed too young, but it made no sense to put it off. They both knew what they wanted, who they loved, who they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with. Their parents were disapproving but they both decided that it was their decision and what other people thought didn't really matter. They just wanted to start their life together. Five years down the line, Cas is working as a doctor in a consultancy and Sam is working his way up the law firm chain, trying to get as much experience as he can so he can have the chance of a being a top lawyer. They live in a detached house in the suburbs that they've managed to afford with their combined income, and they're comfortably settled down to the "apple pie life".

They're very happy together, and settled. But sometimes, they need to placate their dominant sides, and it just doesn't work trying to do it to each other anymore. They've both tried subbing for the other, but its never worked - they just can't submit comfortably and the other gets frustrated that they can't help them through it better.  
Sam found the solution one day, but he was tentative about bringing it up with Cas. He didn't want to give the wrong impression about what he wanted.

"You know with our... issue?" He mentioned while lying in bed one night.

"Yeah?" Cas shifts to look at Sam better, knowing exactly what Sam is talking about.

Sam takes a deep breath. "What about... a club?"

Cas doesn't shout or storm out of bed, which Sam takes as a good sign. He raises his eyebrows, considering. "A BDSM club?"

"Yeah. We could go and see if there's any subs that wouldn't mind having two doms... And it wouldn't have to be often, just whenever we need it?"

Sam doesn't realise how nervous he's been until Cas soothes him by stroking his cheek gently. "I think its a great idea. Really. We should definitely try it."

This is how Sam and Cas end up the following week at the BDSM club they've found online. They haven't done this sort of thing since college days, when they were in the friendship stage and were experimenting with Dom/Sub stuff. They stopped after a few tries because they realised that what they really wanted to be doing was fucking each other, not watching each other with other people.

Thankfully when they arrive at the club its a fairly relaxed atmosphere. There's a bar and seating area for people to talk, and the heavy duty equipment and sceneing areas are further into the club, in view of the bar but private enough that people could scene without everyone constantly watching them.

Sam grips Cas's hand tightly as they enter. They introduce themselves to another dom who is there, who eyes the wedding rings on their fingers curiously, before agreeing to talk them through the setup of the club. Thankfully its not complicated, just a few rules about not leaving any permanent marks on subs in the club (whether they are your own or someone you meet in the club) and that protection had to be used unless you could prove to your partner you were clean.

"So... what are you two looking for here? I'm a bit confused," the other dom, Benny, admits.

Sam explains their situation as Cas glances round the club, his heart sinking. It seems that all of the subs are already with doms - maybe they need to arrange it before they arrive?

Benny is studying them both with a considering expression. "What are you guys into?"

"I think we'll try anything as long as it isn't damaging or something the sub is against."

"But no watersports or scat or anything like that," Cas adds, returning his attention to the conversation.

"I don't know what he'll say..." Benny seems torn. Then he makes up his mind. "I have a friend. He had a dom but it ended badly and so I've been domming for him, but it seems a bit weird, you know? I provide him with what he needs but I'd rather he had someone else. I don't know what he'd say about two doms but I can call him and see what he says? I know he wants someone again."

"He's not here?" Cas asks.

Benny shakes his head. "He doesn't come to the club anymore. Too many bad memories. We scene at my house, when we do," he explains. "Can I call him? Is that okay with you guys?" Cas and Sam nod as Benny steps outside to make a call.

"Is this okay?" Cas asks Sam.

Sam shrugs. "I think we've got to meet him to know. We need to know if he's okay with there being two of us, and what he's into."

Cas kisses his husband's cheek. "I have a good feeling about this."

Sam chuckles. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. But we have to make sure we don't rush in. I think we should go for drinks first."

"Jeez, Cas. We're wanting to dom the guy, not date him!"

"I know. But if things went bad with his last dom... I want to get to know him before we jump in and scare him off."

Benny returns then, a small smile on his face. "He's coming. He was a bit reluctant but I told him I'd vouch for you guys not being crazy or cruel."

"You can tell? We've just met."

Benny shrugs. "Bad doms have a look. And a sound. That's why its my unofficial job to meet anyone that comes in for the first time, to sound them out."

Sam smiles at him. "Thanks. That means a lot."

Benny holds out his hands. "I don't know if that means you'll be a good fit as doms for Dean, but I'm certain you wouldn't hurt him. Or if you did, I'd skin you alive. Are we clear?"

"Of course." They both reply sincerely. Benny has to excuse himself for a few minutes, but when he returns he's holding his phone in his hand.  
"He's outside. He wants me to go out and talk to him first, is that okay?"

-

Dean has his hands shoved deep in his pockets, and is hunched over. He's so tense that Benny's worried he'll break.

"What are you getting me into here, Benny?"

"I thought you were being open minded on the phone?"

"Yeah, but I've had a fifteen minute walk to think about it. Jesus christ, Benny, two guys? I could barely keep one happy."

"That was nothing to do with you, Dean. I promise."

"No? It sure felt like it was me."

"Please, just come and talk to them. If you don't want it and they try to push it, you tell me and I'll kick them out. I promise I will."

Dean scuffs the floor with his shoe. "Just think you're trying to get rid of me."

Benny grips his jaw firmly, forcing his to look up at him. "Are you happy with me, Dean? Or is it just the best you can get?"

Dean can't hold his gaze. Benny rubs his jaw and cheek soothingly. "I know we're not a perfect fit. And if I'm honest, I miss the friend I can hang out with without thinking about this stuff. You know I'm happy to be that for you, but I think this has the potential to be a much better option."

Dean lets out a deep breath. "I know you do. Thank you. I'm sorry for being a brat."

Benny grins. "Maybe I'll tell them that so they can spank it out of you."

Dean groans in annoyance. "No way, man. I'm telling them about myself, not you."

"Sure thing, cupcake," Benny teases. "Better get inside and do it before I do then, hmm?"

Dean rolls his eyes but sets off towards the door. "You're a jerk."

"And you're a moody brat."

Dean turns and grins widely. "You're right, I've missed this."

-

Cas and Sam are waiting nervously inside, the more and more time that drags on.

"Maybe he bailed?" Cas asks anxiously, surprised at how invested he is already. He wants the chance to prove he can be a good dom.

Sam strokes his back soothingly. "Don't panic, love, Benny hasn't been gone that long."

"I know but -"

"Is that him?" Sam's voice is low in Cas's ear. Cas looks to see Benny coming back inside, followed by - well, the most gorgeous guy Cas has ever seen.

When Sam shifts next to him, he corrects himself. The second most gorgeous guy Cas has ever seen.

Dean looks up nervously as he reaches them. He'd been focusing on his shoes because that was easier than looking up at the guys Benny is trying to set him up with.

Well.

Even if they're terrible doms, they are both stupidly attractive.

He gets self-conscious as Benny introduces them, and wraps his arms around himself protectively. He can feel them watching him, but he keeps his eyes on Benny, who's voice is somehow managing to soothe him a bit.

"Dean?" Benny's looking directly at him, worried, and he jolts, realising how much he'd zoned out.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" Dean doesn't know how to respond, so he looks at the two guys. They're looking at him with a concerned expression, but its not patronising, its... caring. Seriously, they care about him already?!

He grips himself tighter and shrugs. He knows he probably seems really rude but he's just so nervous and self conscious and he doesn't want to be back here, not really, even with Benny's presence.

"Maybe we should sit down..?" The guy with the short dark hair and ridiculously blue eyes says - what did Benny call him? Cas. That was it, Cas.

Dean nods jerkily and follows them to a table. Sam goes to buy drinks after he asks Dean what he wants - the bar is alcohol free so Dean asks for lemonade and orange juice. He wonders if they'll think its a girly drink but he's saved when Sam comes back with three of the same.

Benny sits next to him and puts a hand on his leg. "Dean? I don't want to leave you like this, I don't know what's going on -"

Dean shakes his head. "I'm fine. Just -" He swallows. "I just need some time to deal with all of this." He waves his hand at the club but Benny knows what he means.

"Can I leave you with these two? Or are you going to be too nervous."

Dean looks across at them. He tries to read their faces. They don't look cruel. No, they look freaked out and worried. He sighs. He's sure they didn't expect to come out tonight to find a sub and wind up with his bullshit.

"I'm okay," he tells Benny. "I feel safe, I promise."

"Okay." Benny gives his leg a tiny reassuring squeeze. "Yell if you need anything, okay?"

Dean gives Benny a small smile as he moves to leave, watching the three of them closely.

Dean finally turns his full attention to the two guys that Benny is trying to set him up with.

"Dean, we -" both start talking at once and then look at each other, working out who will speak. The longer haired one - Sam - inclines his head, and Cas begins to talk. Dean is momentarily distracted with how they communicate, it seems so wonderful to him to know someone that well.

"Dean, we really didn't mean to do this to make you uncomfortable. If you want to leave, we're not going to take offence." Cas is so earnest that Dean feels bad for acting like such a dick before.

"No, its -" He takes a deep breath. "It's not you. Its just... this place, I haven't been back since..." He doesn't want to bring that up. But maybe he has to.

"You don't have to say anything you don't want to," Cas says softly. "We understand."

And just like that Dean wants to tell them. "My last dom. We scened here. And I safeworded. But he..." he swallows hard. "He was pissed off at me because I'd been a whiny bitch earlier so he kept going and ignored me." Dean's eyes shift unbidden to the bondage cross, and flinches involuntarily.

Dean finds hands resting on his arm and hand when he looks back. They look so - hurt? Horrified? He can't place it.

"Dean," Sam says dead seriously, the weight in his voice settling something in Dean he didn't realise was unsettled. "We would never hurt you like that. Never."

"Do you understand?" Cas says in a softer tone, but it has the same weight. Dean finds himself nodding in agreement.

The moment passes but the feeling stays. Dean feels calmer and he smiles properly for the first time. "So the two of you want to double me, huh?"

Sam watches him. "Dean, do you even want a dom?"

He opens his mouth to answer and then stops. Does he? Does he really?

"I think I need one," he chokes out, remembering how black he'd felt when it was taken away from him, abusive as it had been. "I get... really down if I don't scene."

Cas squeezes his hand gently and he finds himself squeezing back.

"Would you be willing to try with us? Even to just negotiate it?" Cas asks.

Dean swallows hard. This is where he could walk away and be done with this. But there's just something so sincere about the two of them, about how much they already seem to care about him.

"Yes please," he whispers.

Honestly its worth saying it just for their smiles. He finds himself smiling back. "Just... could we not do it here? I don't want to be around this place any more than I have to."

He feels them hesitate. Sam looks at Cas. "We just thought here you're feel safer. In case something happens that you don't want."

Dean nods. "Honestly, there's no where I feel less safe than here. That's why I was so... nervous when I came in. Not because of you. I'm sorry." He ducks his head, flushing with shame.

"Dean?" His head lifts up to the sound of Sam's voice. "You never have to apologise for anything, do you understand me? Not over this." He watches as Dean nods. "Good."

"We should tell Benny if we're going..." Cas says, standing up to see where he is. Dean waves his phone. "I'll call him, its okay. And he's on speedial in case something goes wrong. Not, that I'm uh expecting it to."

Benny catches them as they reach the door. His eyes are hopeful. Dean nods and rolls his eyes. "You succeeded. Well done you."

Benny grins. "I just know you so well, sweetheart." He turns to Sam and Cas, suddenly serious. "He comes to me with any bruises or marks he didn't want, its done, do you understand me?"

"Completely." Sam replies, and Benny nods, satisfied. They leave the club and Dean visibly relaxes. He still has his hands shoved down in his pockets, but he seems much less tense to Cas.

"Where do you want to go...?" Cas asks Dean.

Dean shrugs. "I didn't really think that far. I just wanted to get out," he says almost apologetically.

"Don't worry, Dean, we completely understand." Sam looks across at Cas, asking something with his eyes. Dean watches as Cas gives a tiny nod.

"If its too soon I totally understand..." Sam begins. "But, you could come to our house? To discuss things? It would be more private than a bar and more comfortable."

Dean looks at both of them. "You're not murderer husbands are you?"

Sam laughs loudly as Cas grins. "No, we're not. No skeletons buried in the garden, don't worry."

Dean laughs. "That's exactly what a murderer would say though."

-

They ask Dean about himself while Sam drives back. Cas feels bad putting Dean in the back like a child but Dean doesn't seem to mind ("Unless you want me on your lap"). He's much more relaxed than when they were in the club, and answers their questions freely. He's currently in college studying for a degree in Mechanical Engineering, which is going well. Cas frowns, trying to the maths.

"How old are you, Dean?" He demands, making Dean smile.

"Twenty three."

"Aren't you too old to still be in college?" He asks, tilting his head to one side trying to work it out.

Dean's smile falters slightly. "Let's just say that my last dom screwed me up a fair bit." He rubs the back of his neck. "I failed all my exams."

Cas turns, looking horrified. "Oh god, Dean, I'm so sorry I didn't realise -"

Dean waves him off. "It's fine, don't worry. You didn't know."

"Do you know what you want to do after college?" Sam asks, and the other two are grateful for the distraction.

"I guess... something to do with designing vehicles? I used to help my uncle fix up cars at his garage. That or... I don't know, I've always liked the idea of teaching, but I've never really known many kids so it might just be completely unrealistic." He suddenly gets self conscious that he's said too much for too long. "What about you guys?"

"Sam's a lawyer, I'm a doctor," Cas explains.

"Well shit," Dean breathes out. These two are too smart for him, what is he thinking?

Sam catches Dean's expression in the rearview mirror. "Cas is exaggerating when he says I'm a lawyer - I work in law, I'm not a lawyer yet."

Cas sticks his tongue out at him. "What can I say? I like bragging about you."

Sam blushes slightly, which Dean has to say he finds cute. He opens his mouth to ask something else but they've just pulled into the drive of a gorgeous suburban house.

"Lawyer or not, you have an awesome house," Dean says, slightly overwhelmed. Can he do this? Won't they realise they're too good for him?

Sam turns off the engine as Cas gets out to unlock the house.

"You okay?" Sam asks Dean, who is frozen in his seat.

Dean swallows. "Yeah... Sorry, its just -" He gestures up at the house.

Sam leans forward, a small smile on his lips. "I'll let you into a secret. Cas inherited a lot of money from his grandmother when she passed. We didn't afford this ourselves with our wages."

Dean processes that and then nods. "Thank you."

"We don't want you to be uncomfortable, Dean. If something's bothering you, please just ask. We're not going to be offended."

"I guess its just hard because I've only just met you." Dean says apologetically.

"Well let's change that then, shall we? Will you come inside?" Sam gestures to where Cas is waiting nervously in the doorway.

"Sure. Thanks, Sam." He follows Sam towards Cas and once inside nervously takes off his shoes. Its a different kind of nerves to at the club though, its... anticipation. He suddenly realises he's actually excited to know what they have to say.

The house may be fairly large, but its actually very comforting and cosy inside. There's a chalkboard by the front door that Cas and Sam clearly write notes to each other on if they don't see the other - Dean always thought stuff like that was cheesy but it's actually kinda cute. The funiture is all mismatched but it gives the sense that it all comes from different parts of Sam and Cas's lives. All in all its a house that's definitely lived in - from the shirts draped over the arm of a sofa that Cas is currently moving with an apology, to the piles of DVDs next to their TV. Dean spots Mad Max in the pile. They can't be too bad then.

Dean takes the seat on the sofa that's offered to him. Cas sits next to him, with a respectable distance, and Sam sits in the armchair next to Cas. Dean turns so he can look at both of them and gives a small smile. "Your house is lovely."

Cas smiles. "Its not very organised... but we love it."

Sam stands up to get something. Cas rolls his eyes. "Please don't get scared off by him, Dean. It's his lawyer thing - he feels he has to make notes all the way through."

"Oh," Dean processes that. "No that's okay. I don't mind."

"See? I told you it would be fine," Sam said coming back in with a large notebook. Dean raises his eyebrows. Sam looks down. "Oh, I thought it would be useful to have somewhere to keep everything. You know, if we decide to go through with this."

"Don't worry Dean, he's the one that's got to write in the damn thing." Cas slaps Sam's legs and tells him to sit down. Sam grins and does as he's told.

Cas turns back to Dean. "I guess, at this point, its talking through what we'd each be willing to do and what are the no-go areas."

Dean is flumoxed. Yeah sure, he's done a lot but right now? He can't remember a single damn thing.

"Cas, get the iPad," Sam asks quietly. Cas fetches it from the coffee table and looks at Sam to see what he should search. "Look up a list of BDSM activities."

Cas understands, and opens one up. "We could print this off and do one each..?" He suggests.

Sam looks over at it. "Yeah, we could do. But I think we should get an idea first, and have a chat about stuff on it?"

Dean nods, reading through the list vaguely. Some things jump out at him as definite no-no's.

"Alright..." Cas flicks back up to the top. "We need to go round and say yes, no, maybe to the things I read out. If any are a "no" for anyone, they're definitely off, no questions asked. Okay?"

Everyone nods, and Sam carefully draws columns in his notebook: Kink, Dean, Cas, Sam.

Cas takes a deep breath. "Age play."

"No" immediately comes from Dean. "Please no."

Cas touches his arm gently. "Sam and I aren't into that either Dean, its okay."

"What about us calling you baby as a nickname?" Sam asks, curious.

Dean considers. "I guess it depends how you say it. If its condescending, then no. Otherwise, I don't see why not." Sam nods and makes a note.

"Anal sex?" Cas asks.

Dean blushes. "I mean, yeah. If you two are up for that...?"

Sam grins. "Dean, you are absolutely gorgeous. Obviously we would all have to consent at the time, but I think that's a yes from everyone?" Cas nods in agreement.

"Anal plugs."

Dean blushes even brighter red. "Yes."

Cas and Sam both say yes, and Sam feels tingles of excitement as he thinks of the scope with that.

"Plugs in public?" Cas follows up, reading the next on the list.

"Ummm I have before, but I'd have to be really comfortable with the two of you to do that."

"Noted," says Sam. "Is that your feeling about anything public?"

"Kinda. There's a difference between public and being seen in the club too..." Dean muses.

"At the start we'd keep it all in the house, how's that?" Cas suggests, and Dean nods gratefully.

"Animal play?" Cas wrinkles his nose at that one.

"Is that a no from you?" Dean asks.

"Its something I'd rather not do but I would if you wanted to. Sam's not as against it..."

"I don't like it either, Cas." Dean replies. "And unless everyone wants to do it, no one does it, that's what we agreed right?"

Sam nods in agreement. "Its a no to animal play."

Asphyxiation is next which gets a maybe from everyone, then (Cas doesn't even want to read it out) beastiality which gets sick expressions on everyone's faces, then blindfolds which gets a yes all round, as does bondage - although Dean requests that he either has his arms or legs free so he can get out if things go wrong. After the story about his previous dom, Cas and Sam agree to that immediately.

Chastity gets an embarrassed yes from Dean but it makes Sam and Cas smile widely. Forms of impact play including beating, whipping, caning, flogging and spanking all get caution yes's from Dean, as long as he has a way of safewording and he can trust they'll stop.

Immediate no's go to watersports (Dean's done it once and it made him sick), scat, anything to do with bathroom activities (except shower sex), rape or forced sex fantasies, fisting, human furniture. Dean is turned on by humiliation, but there's definitely a level he'll stop at.

They reach the point where its no longer awkward asking and answering, because they've not got a good idea of what they're each into. So when Cas reads out "lingerie", Dean can't hide the blush that flushes his whole face and neck.

"Yes," he chokes out.

Cas studies him with a small smile. "You want us to fill your pretty ass with a plug and then make you wear panties all round the house?"

"Oh fuck Cas," he groans and Cas's smile widens. Cas leans closer and kisses his cheek softly.

"You're incredible, Dean," he whispers in his ear, hot and with the same weight as earlier at the club. Dean lets out a tiny whimper that Cas definitely hears.

Sam refuses to do full sensory deprivation because its too difficult to tell if the sub is okay or not, and Cas also vetoes medicial kink because it would mess him up at work too much.

Cas also clarifies something by saying no first to slave/master play. "You'd be our sub, Dean. Not our slave. We'd be here for your pleasure as much as you'd be here to provide us with pleasure, okay? So even if we put a cock cage on you, it would only be because ultimately you would get even greater pleasure from it."

Dean nods. "I understand." He's relieved. His last dom had been into master/slave play, but got it into a scene when Dean was too deep in his subspace to protest properly.  
"What would you want me to call you...?"

They exchange a glance. "I think Sam and Cas would be fine," Sam replies. "But if you wanted to call us "sir" we wouldn't say no to that. I think it depends on the scene."

Dean nods. He's glad they're not making him call them Master. That would be too much.

"So...." Sam reads out the list of things that they've all said yes or maybe to.

Cas listens closely. "Was rimming on?"

"Oh shit, no." Sam writes rimming down. "Dean?"

"Uhhh I've never done it? Maybe?"

"Cas and I are big into rimming," Sam explains. "But we can do that to each other if you don't want in, its okay."

Dean nods. "I don't mind you two doing it, I'm just not sure if I'd enjoy it myself."

Cas squeezes his leg comfortingly. "Of course, Dean. That's okay." Cas realises that his throat is really dry from reading and hops up. "Anyone else want a drink?" Sam nods distractedly and Dean replies "yes please." Cas chuckles as he goes to the kitchen. When he gets back Sam has moved to sit next to Dean on the sofa and is showing him something on the iPad.

"What's that?" Cas asks, placing the glasses of juice on the coffee table.

"Just showing Dean some rope bondage stuff I learnt how to do," Sam replies.

"I thought bondage was just cuffs," Dean admits.

Cas chuckles as he sits down next to Dean, on the other side to Sam. "Believe me, before Sam, so did I."

"Can I ask you guys something?" Dean is tentative and has that apologetic note slipping into his voice again.

"Of course, sweetheart." The endearment slips out before Cas can help it and he goes to apologise but Dean blushes and looks across with a small smile.

(Cas gives himself a mental reminder to add praise kink to the list).

"Why do you want me?" His voice is alarmingly small. "Like... I get its nice having a sub but you have each other and isn't the sex from that enough? You're so happy."

Cas takes Dean's hand and squeezes it gently. "Sam and I are happy together. Very happy. But we're both very dominant in bed, and when its just the two of use we have to bottle all that up and have normal, regular, _awesome_ sex, but its different to when we're being dominant. We tried subbing for each other, but it just didn't work. So recently we thought we'd try spending time with a sub and see what happens."

"And what's happening?" Dean asks quietly, nervously.

"I'm very happy Dean. And Sam is too." Sam is rubbing soothing circles on Dean's back like he'd done for Cas earlier at the club. "I know we've only just met but it feels like this is something really good. Believe me, we love each other very very much, and the idea of someone else coming in should make us both feel really jealous and possessive. But it doesn't. This feels really easy, natural even."

Dean swallows hard, and Cas hands him juice, realising how dry Dean's throat is. Dean blinks and then smiles gratefully and drinks.

"We want to make you happy Dean." Sam says quietly. "We want to help you through whatever you're dealing with up there, if we can."

Dean lets out a harsh laugh. "Right. Because that's what you really want to spend your time doing." He shakes his head. "I still don't understand - why me?"

Cas leans in and kisses him softly. "You're beautiful. You're funny. You're smart. You're hot as hell. And you sound like one hell of an amazing sub."

Dean blinks hard and then turns to Sam who also kisses him gently.

"Guys..." Dean says warily.

It makes them both worried. "What? Sorry, did we overstep -"

"Oh no, you didn't. I just hope you're not going to understep and send me home without letting me come." Dean's cheeks are flushed pink with both embarrassment and arousal.

Sam grins at Cas over Dean's head. "I'm sure that can be arranged."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://brian618.whyayh.com/mirror/bdsmlearningcenter/basics/play_partner_check_list.html - this is the sort of list that Cas looks up. ( There are other things that they didn't discuss but will come up but its just because I couldn't face writing out the whole list in this conversation - so I just did the definite no's to help you know what will not be coming up in this fic in case you were worried)
> 
> Thanks for reading!! This is my first multichapter BDSM fic so I hope its okay! It was getting too long but I'm thinking they have some sort of sex in the next chapter? I don't know if that's too rushed but I want to get on with it so...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sex that follows the previous chapter's negotiation.
> 
> Actually not particularly BDSM - tags for this chapter: sex, bottom!Cas, idk middle!Dean ?, top!Sam, threesome, dirty talk, praise kink, blow jobs, nipple play, sort of rough sex but not really (fairly tame stuff all in all)

Cas momentarily debates showing Dean around the house so he knows where everything is and then immediately decides against it when Sam presses Dean against the sofa and kisses him deeply. Dean groans loudly, melting into the kiss. Cas grins and begins kissing his neck and cheek, running his fingers through Dean's hair.

Dean pulls away from Sam, gasping. "Can we take this upstairs? I don't really want to do this on your sofa."

Cas pulls him up. "Of course." He leads Dean up their stairs, holding his hand as Sam follows behind.

Dean hesitates slightly when they reach the bedroom door and he sees their bed and Cas turns, concerns. "Dean, we don't have to do this now."

He shakes his head. "I fighting with the part of me that says this is rushed, but then if I'd got to a club I'd have done more than this with less negotiation beforehand, and -" He looks down. "Sorry, I'm over thinking."

Sam runs a hand through Dean's hair. "I think tonight is testing whether we can cope with three people in one bed together. Because if not, then we can do all the BDSM stuff in couples, like one at a time."

Dean wrinkles his nose. "That sounds crap."

Sam nods. "I know. But we need to see if this is possible."

Dean agrees and nods towards the bedroom. "Sorry for stalling. I do want this, I promise."

"Apologise once more and I'll have to spank you," Sam says low in his ear, making Dean groan loudly.

"So responsive," Cas murmurs, closing the bedroom door. Then he suddenly remembers something. "Dean, are you clean?"

"What? Oh, yeah. Hang on," he pulls his phone out of his pocket, and flips through to find his results. Cas studies the date. They're from just under a year ago.

"I - uh, after my last dom I got tested. To check he hadn't given me anything. And I haven't had unprotected sex since. I promise."

Cas nods and goes into their bedside drawer and pulls out two sheets of paper. Sam wraps his arms loosely around Dean's chest and Dean relaxed back into him. Cas hands Dean the results, and Dean sees they're both clean too.

"Why did you get tested so recently..." Dean wondered out loud.

Sam snorts a laugh. "Its because Cas makes us get tested every year. Even though we have sex with no one else."

Cas shrugs. "I have to set a good example to my patients, don't I? I have to have every test possible done so I can say 'well I've done it and I'm completely fine, no bad side effects'."

"He takes his job very seriously." Sam whispers conspiratorially in Dean's ear. Dean laughs as Cas huffs and puts the results and Dean's phone on the bedside table.

Sam's erection is pressing hard into Dean's ass and Dean finds his hips subconsciously rock back, seeking friction, or Sam's cock in his ass. God how did he meet the two of them just earlier this evening? He feels he's known them forever.

"I have a plan for tonight," Sam says, running his hands over Dean's hips.

"Mmmm?" Dean tries to reply more coherently but it doesn't happen because Cas steps in front of him and begins grinding his cock against Dean's.

"Repeat your safewords for us, Dean." Sam asks, stilling his movements as Cas follows suit.

"Uhhh," Dean scrambles for them.

Cas catches his eye seriously. "We can't do this if you can't remember your safewords."

Dean nods hurriedly. "Green is everything is fine, yellow is slow down or talk about it, red is stop."

"Good boy," Cas murmurs, leaning in to kiss him as Dean shivers happily from the praise.

"Am I -" Dean gasps out as Cas begins grinding his cock against Dean's and as Sam begins rubbing his erection into Dean's ass again - "Am I going to need my safewords tonight?"

Sam kisses his neck. "Probably not, we're not going to do anything very strong or BDSM at all really. But we'll ask at times what your colour is to check that the system works, okay?"

"Okay," Dean breathes out.

"I think he's wearing too much, what do you think Sam?" Cas says, grinning at Dean.

"Mmm definitely." Cas begins working on Dean's shirt buttons, while Sam begins unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans.

"Two people makes stripping quicker," Dean mutters, and both of them laugh. He laughs too, surprised he can. When was the last time he laughed during sex?

Sam pulls Dean's shirt off and Cas kneels down to pull his jeans off. Dean steps out of them and then Cas runs his hands over the waistband of his boxers, looking up to meet Dean's gaze. "Okay?"

"Please, Cas," he doesn't care that he's already close to begging.

"Good boy," Cas says again, as he pulls Dean's boxers down, freeing his cock which bounces slightly when it's freed. God he's so hard.

"Oh my god," Cas groans. "So beautiful, Dean, so fucking beautiful."

Dean blushes but his cock dribbles a spurt of precome. Sam begins rubbing and tugging at his nipples as Cas licks the tip of Dean's cock, watching Dean's face closely for his response. Dean's hips buck forward at the sudden contact. "Caass," he moans.

"You make such beautiful sounds, baby," Sam murmurs in his ear, nipping lightly at his ear lobe.

"Sam, please -" Dean gasps out, but is cut off by Cas licking the tip of his cock again.

"What is it, baby?" Sam purrs in his ear.

"Too many clothes, please, want to feel you -"

Sam drops his jeans and boxers quickly as Cas runs his hands all over Dean's naked ass and cock and balls. Sam grins as he pulls off his t-shirt and steps back up behind Dean. He lets his cock slide against Dean's ass slowly, enjoying how Dean shivers against him.

"Fuck," Dean whispers, as he feels how fucking huge Sam is.

"Oh believe me Dean, he feels even better when he's in you," Cas informs him, before taking Dean's cock in his mouth in one go.

Now Dean can see why Cas waited for Sam to strip to do this, because without Sam holding him up he would have crumpled. Cas's mouth is so fucking good, god his tongue doing fucking sinful things.

"Isn't he so good, Dean," Sam growls. "Aren't you glad we've decided to share you?"

"Oh god, Sam, yes, thank you, thank you -"

"Should I tell you what we're going to do?" Sam asks, but his tone of voice says he'll tell Dean anyway.

"Please, Sam," Dean groans.

"I'm going to prep this pretty ass of yours and then fuck you while your cock is buried in Cas's ass. Do you understand me? Today you're going to be my toy to fuck Cas with."

"I - ahh - am I allowed to do that?" He gasps out.

Cas pulls off his cock with a pop. "What do you mean, sweetheart?"

"Like, am I allowed to fuck you? To top you?"

Cas frowns. "Sure you are! Why wouldn't you be?"

Sam runs his fingers through Dean's hair. "Being a sub doesn't mean you have to be the bottom all the time. And honestly Cas is so in love with your cock I can see him slapping a cock ring on you and riding you like his own personal dildo."

Cas grins. "You read my mind. Just not tonight."

Dean's mind whirrs. He's never been allowed to top before as a sub. Well, sort of top. Because Sam is topping him. God what does that make him? Before he can work it out, he's being led to the bed where he lies down, pushing his legs apart as he's been asked to. He feels so exposed under their hot stares but god it feels so good. He arches up, wanting some sort of contact. Sam chuckles, grabbing the lube from the bedside table while Cas strips off completely.

"You okay with me prepping you?" Sam asks, pausing until he gets Dean's consent.

"Please, Sam. Want to feel you."

Sam smiles warmly, leaning down to kiss him. "Such a good boy for us."

He teases the rim of his hole, checking everything was okay. Cas watches and then snorts. "Come on Sam, he'll fall asleep at this rate."

Dean laughs at the affronted expression on Sam's face, but then gasps as Sam's lubed up finger properly breaches his hole.

"Ohhhh god," Dean moans.

"Like that baby?" Sam asks as Cas climbs onto the bed next Dean.

"So much, sir, oh god." Dean doesn't even realise he's slipped from using Sam to sir, but no one seems to mind.

Cas kisses him deeply, and Dean lets him control the kiss, melting into the bed and his doms' talented hands and lips.

"Cas, don't I need to prep you?" He says, breaking away with a gasp.

Cas shakes his head. "You're good sweetheart, Sam prepped me earlier."

"Oh," Dean breathes out. "Does Sam ever get fucked?"

Cas chuckles. "Oh definitely. Find his prostate and he moans so loud we should probably get the walls soundproofed."

Sam rolls his eyes as Dean laughs. "You'll get your chance to fuck me, Dean, don't worry."

Dean nods, and then moans as Sam pushes another finger in. How many is that now, three?

"One more to go and then we can do it, I promise." Sam kisses the tip of Dean's cock.

Cas distracts Dean again by kissing him and licking and lightly biting his nipples, making Dean arch off the bed.

"You have the most responsive body, Dean. You're absolutely exquisite." Cas says in a state of awe.

Dean looks away at that. He isn't. He knows that. Cas is just saying that to make him feel better in the heat of the moment.

He's distracted by Sam tapping his ass gently. "All prepped," he says happily.

Cas lies on his back, pulling Dean over him. Dean goes onto all fours, thinking this is the most bizarre but undoutably the best fuck he's ever had.

Sam slots in behind him. "Colour, Dean?"

"Green, Sam. Please."

"Shhh, its okay." Sam says as he begins pushing in. Dean groans unashamedly loud as he's filled.

"So big Sam, oh god -"

"Tell me yellow if its too much," Sam orders and Dean nods obediently.

God it burns, but the exact right kind of burn and its not long until Sam is bottomed out, his balls pressed against Dean's quivering ass.

"Taken me so well baby, so fucking good," Sam moans in his ear.

Cas is watching the two of them with love and wonder. Sam shuffles Dean forward slightly, elicting moans from him, and Cas takes Dean's cock in hand and begins helping Dean push it into his ass. Or should he say, help Sam push it into his ass, because Dean has never felt so owned until now. He knows this wasn't meant to be a BDSM thing, not tonight, not really, but he just wants to be theirs, just wants to please them and be owned by them.

He's speechless when he bottoms out in Cas. Its so intense, its overwhelming. Tears prick in his eyes. "Yellow," he gasps out.

Sam pauses his gentle rocking, and Cas reaches up to touch his face. "Okay, sweetheart?"

He nods, eyes closed. "Just need time to - adjust."

"Of course," Cas runs his hands soothingly down Dean's sides. "Say green whenever you're ready."

"I'm not going to last not coming for very long," Dean admits, eyes still squeezed shut.

"We're both so proud of you already, we don't mind when you come." Cas's voice is full of so much pride that Dean's eyes snap open.

"What if I come before you do?" He asks Cas, not wanting his dom to not get off because he can't control himself.

Cas strokes a hand through his hair. "It'd be okay, don't worry sweetheart. I could probably just come from how proud you're making me right now."

Dean nods. He thinks he's mostly got used to the sensations of being in someone while someone is in you. "I - green."

Sam begins rocking into him, gripping his hips tightly, meaning that any movement is transfered directly to Cas through Dean's movements. Cas throws his head back. "Mmm, so good."

After a few minutes of this, Dean is getting desperate. "More please Sam, please -"

"You want more baby?"

"Oh god, please, so much -"

Sam slams forward hard, making Dean cry out. "Thank you, thank you -" he gasps out as Sam slams into him over and over.

Cas takes his own cock in hand, the other hand pressed over Sam's hand of Dean's hip. Cas is pretty sure that none of them are going to last particularly long.

Dean's eyes are squeezes shut from being overwhelmed by pleasure, and with every thrust he lets out a tiny whimper or groan. God, he's so unbelievably cute and hot and perfect, Cas thinks, pushing himself up to kiss him. Dean's eyelids flutter open as he kisses back, before he moans loudly into Cas's mouth as Sam slams into his prostate.

Cas smirks at Sam over Dean's shoulder. "Think you found it."

"Good," Sam growls, quickening his pace. Cas throws his head back, loving how Dean's cock fucks into him without Dean actually being the one that's controlling it. He angles his hips slightly differently and Dean's cock finds his prostate and he lets out a similarly filthy moan to Dean's.

"Fuck me, come on Dean, fuck me," he demands, biting on Dean's lip hard enough to make Dean gasp but not enough to draw blood.

Dean is past the point of speaking by now, arms barely holding him up. He feels his orgasm building as Sam's gorgeous cock fucks him into the glorious heat of Cas's ass, both of them controlling him so much.

"Ple-" he manages to get out.

Both Cas and Sam know what he means. Cas speeds up jerking himself off, hoping to finish at the same time as Dean now they're all so close. Sam slams in even harder, rendering Dean completely incoherent even if he'd tried.

Sam bites down lightly on Dean's shoulder blade and Cas orders "come for us Dean."

Dean cries out as he comes hard in Cas's ass, and the vibrations that go through him makes Sam groan and come. His hand comes to wrap around his husband's cock (Dean is too out of it by now) and within a few moments Cas comes too, all over his chest.

Sam slides out of Dean gently and helps a limp Dean lie next to Cas on the bed.

They begin touching and kissing him gently and softly. "Do you feel okay, baby?" Sam asks.

"So good," Dean replies, slurring his words with a blissed out grin on his face.

Cas chuckles quietly. "I'm glad you're so happy."

"Mmmm," is Dean's reply and Sam and Cas grin at each other over him. This is what they've been missing all these years. Having a blissed out sub in their bed after they've taken care of him so well.

Sam stands up and Cas cuddles with Dean as Sam goes to fetch a wash cloth, juice, water, and chocolate. He comes back to find Dean more with it than before, and Cas softly kissing and stroking his hair, murmuring words of endearment and care.

Sam drops the other things on the bed and begins cleaning off Dean's cock and ass. Dean shifts and peeks up at Sam. "Can I have a plug?"

Sam smiles. "Sure, baby." He goes to the drawer of things they keep out (the rest is in hidden in the guest bedroom and is moved when guests come to stay). He pulls out a fairly small plug, but it should do the trick, especially if Dean wants to sleep with it in. He makes sure its clean before coming back and lubing it up and sliding it inside Dean's ass, stopping his come from dribbling out. Cas has got Dean to drink some water and some juice, but eating seems to be too much for his jaw at the moment.

 Sam passes the wash cloth over Cas's chest, who has now tucked Dean up under a blanket. Sam kneels between Cas's legs and looks up, asking. Cas grins and nods, and that's all Sam needs to lean down and start lapping at Dean's come in Cas's ass.

Cas's contented "mmm" is enough to get Dean's attention and he looks around and then spots what Sam is doing.

"Fuck that's hot," he whispers, eyes glued to Sam. Cas kisses him then, murmuring about how good he is for them, how happy he's made them both.

Cas's cock begins to fill out again, but only to a comfortable semi hardness. Sam sits up and wipes his mouth before climbing back up the bed to cuddle on the other side of Dean.

"Sam can come untouched from me rimming him," Cas informs Dean as Sam breaks up chocolate to feed Dean.

"What, really?!"

Cas laughs. "Oh yeah. And if I'm honest he probably could have made me come again today if he'd put a bit more effort in."

Sam shrugs. "I thought looking after our sub was more important than getting you off a second time."

Cas grins as Sam leans in to kiss him. "Fair point."

Dean realises randomly that the two of them have a thing about touching his hair - not that he's complaining, he's just never had a dom who's done that before.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" Cas asks, genuine concern in his voice.

Dean nods sluggishly. "Really good. It was intense, but really good." He looks at Sam. "Never been fucked like that before."

"So it wasn't too much?" Sam asks.

Dean shakes his head. "It was just right - thank you."

"You're so welcome," Sam kisses his forehead. "I'm getting the feeling you want to sleep so drink a tiny bit more water and have another bit of chocolate and then we'll cuddle up and sleep, okay? And we'll continue this discussion tomorrow?"

Dean nods repeatedly in agreement. "Yes, Sam."

Sam chuckles. "You're so cute when you're like this. Isn't he Cas?"

"Absolutely adorable," Cas agrees as he helps Dean drink some more water. They push the blanket away and pull the duvet over them. Cas and Dean spoon while Sam wraps his arm around both of them, smiling at Cas over their new sleeping sub.

Neither of them could believe they'd got so lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to put a "tags for this chapter" at the start of the chapter so if there's anything you're not into you can check at the top before you read :)
> 
> This chapter has come very very quickly after chapter 1 but that's not going to happen for every chapter!! I just had a solid idea for this one and needed to get it out before I forgot all the details or lost motivation to do it.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading - more aftercare/dealing with the scene the morning after will come in the next chapter :) xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the previous chapters - no sex, just discussing what happened and what will happen in the future for them.

When Dean starts drifting into consciousness, his mind is filled with the feeling of safety. He's so warm and comfortable, the bed is so cosy and soft and he sighs softly into the pillow. He feels shifting around next to him and he smiles, eyes still closed and still drifting in the semi-conscious state that comes before waking. The arm thrown over his hip moves slightly, the fingers brushing his leg lightly.

The calm is broken by loud ringing. Dean jerks awake, an automatic reaction to the sound of his phone ringing, and blinding reaches for it, aware of the confusion and sudden wakefulness of the other two men. He stumbles out of bed, making someone yelp as he climbs over them and snatches his phone up.

"Hello?" His voice is rough and cracked and he swallows hard, trying to rub sleep out of his eyes and force himself to function.

"Oh, so you are alive." The answer is wry and amused, but with an undercurrent of annoyance.

"Benny, what?" Dean can't process the meaning of what he's saying.

"You told me you'd ring me when you got home last night. And then no call. So I thought I'd better ring up and check you weren't lying dead in a ditch somewhere."

"Oh," Dean replies, trying to think. "I uh, didn't get home last night."

"Oh," Benny sounds surprised. "Wow, you guys went for it?"

"Yeah," he glances back at the bed, where Sam is watching him, and blushes. "Hey, I'll call you later?"

"Sure. Glad it worked out." Benny disconnects and Dean turns back to the bed, suddenly feeling very self conscious and nervous.

Cas reaches for him groggily. "Come back to bed," he murmurs, still very much semi-conscious.

Dean nods jerkily and climbs back in, lying on his back staring at the ceiling, unable to look at either of them.

Sam watches him, and notes his nervousness. "You know, I don't think I'll get back to sleep. Should we go and make coffee while sleepy head here gets a bit more shut eye?"

Dean nods gratefully at Sam, and gets out of bed again. Cas is already asleep again, and Sam laughs quietly at how his hair is ruffled and how he's tangled up in the duvet.

Sam hands Dean some pjyama bottoms and a t shirt, which are a bit too big but Dean finds it comforting. Sam dresses similarly and they go downstairs, Dean trailing behind slightly.

Sam pours him a glass of water. "You okay?"

Dean shrugs as he runs his finger around the rim of the glass. "I guess its the whole awkward morning after thing, except now its with two people not just one, and I haven't done this sort of thing in a while..."

Sam nods understandingly. "I'm sorry if you think we rushed into last night. Maybe that's why you feel uncomfortable? Because you don't know us that well yet?"

Dean keeps staring at the glass of water. "Maybe. I don't know, it felt the right decision last night?" He wraps his arms around his waist. "I don't know."

Sam knows that action from last night. He steps closer to Dean and begins rubbing his arms soothingly. "Is this your sub drop?"

Dean laughs at that. "No. This is me being a whiny bitch and not saying thank you for being so great to me last night."

"Dean, don't you dare say that about yourself." Sam takes his jaw in his hand, forcing Dean's chin up. After a moment, Dean's eyes rise up to meet Sam's. "You're allowed to feel insecure and unsure about this stuff, without calling yourself whiny."

Dean huffs. "That's news to me."

"Whatever your last dom said or did was completely wrong, and is not how Cas and I will behave. Do you understand?"

"Yes Sam," Dean whispers. He looks so lost that Sam can't help pulling him for a hug. Dean freezes and then relaxes, and Sam strokes his hair.

"We don't have to do this again if you're not comfortable -" Sam begins but Dean cuts him off, pulling back to look up at Sam earnestly.

"No, please I want to do this again. I really do. Honest." Dean's eyes are almost begging Sam, and Sam smiles slightly.

"I'd better make some coffee before Cas gets down, otherwise he'll be a grump all day," Sam explains as he begins to make coffee. "But I want you to talk me through how you're feeling, if that's okay."

Dean considers as he watches Sam's hands. "I guess... I feel nervous. I haven't done this before."

"I know its different with two doms -"

"Staying overnight with a dom," Dean cuts him off. "I haven't done that before."

Sam turns to him. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean I used to meet doms at the club and scene there and then we'd part ways at the end of the evening."

Sam narrows his eyes. "What about aftercare?"

Dean shrugs. "If I had a subdrop I'd call Benny and he'd come and check on me."

"Dean..." Sam's eyes are unbelievably sad. "I'm sorry."

Dean shrugs again. "I uh didn't particularly like my doms. But I needed it, you know?"

Sam smiles sadly. "So the aftercare makes you uncomfortable?"

Dean shakes his head. "I really like it. And all the touching, my hair..." He blushes but Sam's smile widens and loses its sadness. "It's just new to me."

"We'll help you through this stuff, Dean, if you let us..." Sam trails off.

Dean steps close to Sam and kisses him softly. "Yes please."

Sam runs his fingers through Dean's hair, conscious of what Dean just said about liking it.

At that moment, Cas half stumbles into the room. He doesn't even have to say anything as Sam presses a cup of coffee into his hands which Cas mumbles thanks for before drinking half of it in one go. Sam laughs at Dean's expression. "Let's just say he's not a morning person."

Cas glares at his husband, already slightly more awake. "I can hear you."

Sam grins and takes a sip of his own coffee. "We were just discussing yesterday," he explains, more seriously.

Cas is immediately more switched on. "Was everything okay?" He asks Dean, who nods hesitantly.

"Its uh, other things that I'm having a problem with," Dean replies, sipping his coffee nervously. "All the aftercare is... a new thing for me."

Cas looks just as stunned as Sam did. "I swear the more I hear about your old dom the more I want to rip his balls off," Cas declares angrily.

Dean laughs nervously. "You don't know the half of it." He squeezes his eyes shut, wishing he hadn't said that. Now they're going to ask.

He opens his eyes as hands touch his cheeks gently. Cas is cradling his face softly, eyes earnest and serious. "We're not going to ask you to say anything you don't want to, but if its something that will affect a scene you must tell us, alright? And you can tell us anything, we won't judge you."

"Thank you," Dean feels slightly overwhelmed by it all but manages to smile at Cas. Cas kisses his forehead and steps back, more settled than before but still angry with everyone that has abused Dean. What kind of dom doesn't give aftercare?

They discuss things a bit more as Sam makes pancakes for breakfast, and talk about what was good and bad about the night before - Dean was just sad that he'd been too tired to go for round two, which makes Cas grin.

After breakfast, by which time its around 10 o'clock, Sam asks if Dean wants to stay for the afternoon. Dean wishes he could, but he has a lot of studying to do that he needs to get on with. They both understand and Dean goes back upstairs to get dressed because they've offered to drive him home.

He doesn't really want to take Sam's pjyama's off, they're so soft and comforting, but he can't exactly take them with him. He pulls on his clothes from the day before and suddenly realises he's still got the plug in that Sam put in him the night before. He blushes bright red, wondering what he should do. He can't believe he'd got so used to it he hadn't realised it was there, and he gives a quiet whimper as he pulls it out. He finishes dressing and goes to the bathroom to wash it off, and leaves it on the bedside table next to the bottle of lube.

On the drive back to his flat, Cas gives him their phone numbers and tells him to get in touch if he starts feeling a sub drop later, or if he needs to talk about anything. Sam tells him to drink lots of water and get lots of sleep tonight. Part of Dean thinks they're taking the whole "never had aftercare" thing too seriously, but really its touching that they care so much.

They pull up outside Dean's flat and he hesitates before getting out. "When can we do this again?" He asks, nervous again.

"How often do you want to do this?" Sam asks, curious.

"Is next weekend too soon?" Dean asks, but both their faces light up. Sam pulls him into a kiss.

"I was hoping you'd say that," he says as he pulls away so Cas can kiss Dean.

Dean gets out of the car with a wide grin on his face. "See you soon, then?"

"See you next weekend," Cas replies with a similar smile.

Dean doesn't stop grinning long after they've driven off and he's back inside his flat. He gets more work done that afternoon than he has in a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A much shorter chapter, but hopefully it addressed some issues that weren't in chapters 1 and 2?  
> More to follow soon, I've got so much momentum for writing this fic, its so nice to actually know what I'm writing before I start!!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and thanks for sticking with it this far :) xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean meets up with Cas and Sam for dinner.  
> No sex or anything in this chapter, just the three of them getting to know each other a bit better - so if you're just here for the BDSM stuff you can skip to the next chapter which is the next time they scene :)
> 
> Oh and I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has read this and left kudos and comments - thank you for being so supportive and lovely, I was worried about posting this fic because I've never written this sort of fic before so thanks for helping me get over those nerves!! And its really motivating to get positive responses, which is part of the reason I've been posting chapters so quickly :) I'm going to stop now before I start rambling, but I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the others! xx

Dean's sat on a wall outside the Engineering lab, warming his hands on his styrofoam cup of coffee. He's got a little longer before he has to go in for his 11 o'clock class and he probably should be thinking about questions to ask his lecturers about the work he's doing, but his mind keeps going back to the other night with Cas and Sam. And he's realising, probably too late, that what he enjoyed wasn't necessarily the sex, it was how easy and (dare he say it?) loving it was. They genuinely cared about him, right from when they first met.

Dean toys with his phone, wondering if he should ring them. He feels almost awkward now - he texted Sam to say thank you to them for the night they'd had and Sam had replied, and then Dean hadn't known what to say. So for four days, nothing.

He wants to meet them again. That's the conclusion he's drawing from being sat on the wall, contemplating what he wants. He wants to meet up and just talk and find out more about who they are. Sure, the other night had been incredible but he wants to be more than just someone they fuck from time to time. He blushes and looks down, even though there's no one close enough to see. He wants to be their friend, not just their sub.

That decided, he sets his coffee down on the wall next to him and works out what to say. Then he decides texting is better - but who to text? This is the problem with a threeway thing, he thinks with a sigh. He decides on Cas, because if he's a doctor he's more likely to have his phone on at all times, right?

_Dean: Hey Cas, I was wondering what time you and Sam finish work? And if you wanted to get something to eat together tonight?_

His phone buzzes after a minute long, agonising wait.

_Cas: Hi Dean, we'll both be done for seven thirty if that's any good?_

_Cas: And thanks for asking, you know Sam and I are big fans of eating out ;)_

Dean nearly chokes on his coffee when he reads that, and then starts laughing.

_Dean: Nearly inhaled my coffee there_

_Cas: Sorry was that too much?_

_Dean: No it just... took me by surprise_

_Cas: So are you wanting to come over and scene or just get dinner?_

_Dean: Just dinner, so we can get to know each other, if that's okay?_

_Cas: Of course, that sounds lovely. I'll let Sam know - anywhere in mind?_

Dean thinks, and then texts him the address of his favourite restaurant - its not fancy, but its homely and the food is amazing.

_Cas: See you there 7:30 then?_

_Dean: Sounds great. I've got to run to class, talk later?_

_Cas: Enjoy your class :)_

Dean realises as he walks to class that Cas is quite possibly the hottest dorkiest man he's ever met.

-

He gets to the restaurant fifteen minutes early, even though he's booked a table. Then he has the anxious moment of working out where to sit - should he sit with one of them next to him or with them both across from him? He decides on across from him, because that's what married couples do right?

He smooths his shirt down, and nervously rubs his hands on his jeans. His best jeans, he might add - he'd wanted to be himself, but he also wanted to make a good impression. He tries to tell himself that that's not to do with proving to them he can be good for them.

His breath hitches nervously as they come in, looking around for him. Dean gives a little wave as they spot him and they both smile and come over. Cas is still dressed in work slacks but Sam is in jeans and a shirt like Dean.

"I only left work at seven," Cas explains after greeting Dean and sitting down. "I didn't have time to get changed."

"Doesn't he look cute in his shirt and sweater, Dean?" Sam teases, making Cas glare at him and Dean laugh.

"I feel too formal," Cas grumbles, jealously eyeing Sam's jeans.

"You said you're a doctor, but what exactly do you do...?" Dean asks, curious to find out more about the two of them.

 "I work in a consultancy, where people come with various medical problems or questions and its my job to work out who to refer them onto," Cas explains. "So I deal with a lot of different kinds of people."

"Isn't that really confusing?" Dean asks. "How do you remember everything?"

Cas smiles. "Well, I do have the help of a very useful computer system. And a lot of the time, its very similar stuff that comes up anyway, so its quite easy to remember." He shrugs. "I just didn't see the appeal of specialising in one area, I enjoy all aspects of the medical profession fairly equally."

"And specialising takes _years_ to do, and Cas couldn't face more years of studying after college," Sam explains.

Cas nods. "I was fed up with the attitude of academics - thinking that just because they have the title "professor" means they're so much more important that everyone else and can treat everyone else like crap."

Dean considers that. His lecturers are actually okay - they were very good about him retaking the year. He's paying for it of course, but they could have very easily told him that he couldn't come back, that it was his fault he'd blown it and that he should have worked harder.

They order drinks and food - Cas looks almost guilty as he orders a burger.

"I know exactly how bad they are for me, but they just taste so good," he admits.

Sam grins. "You could always have ordered salad instead of fries."

Cas shakes his head, as if Sam has said something horrific. "Its all or nothing."

Watching them, Dean doesn't feel like as much of a third wheel as he'd expected. He'd thought it would be really awkward, going for dinner with a married couple. But it seems they want to get to know him as much as he wants to get to know them - they ask him about his uncle (he's surprised they remember, he only mentioned it once in passing), but thankfully don't ask about the rest of his family. He doesn't really think this is the place to be discussing that, and it would definitely kill the happy mood they've got. Sam tells them both about stupid things that people have said in courtrooms that he's sat in, making Dean's ribs hurt from laughing so much.

"I didn't realise people were that stupid," Dean gasps out between his laughs.

Sam grins widely. "Oh, I have more, but I think you've had enough for now."

Dean manages to calm down when their food arrives, and they eat in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Dean considers asking something, and then wonders if its a good idea.

"What is it, Dean?" Sam asks, and Dean jumps, surprised Sam can read him so well already.

"Can I ask you guys how you got into this stuff?" They both know what he means.

Cas puts his burger down, thinking. "I guess I found out about this sort of this the year before I went to college... But my parents are fairly conservative, so its not like I could go out and explore it while I was at home. So when I got to college was when I first scened, and found out what I was into."

Sam nods. "It was similar for me, except I had a boyfriend in highschool and looking back our making out was always quite dom/sub, I was always the one who ended up in control. But I didn't scene until college." He glances at Cas, chuckling. "Cas was a sub when he started sceneing."

Dean's eyes widen in surprise, and Cas gives Sam a half hearted glare. "Unlike you, I wasn't able to search stuff like this on the internet. So all my research was practical, I had to work out what I was into."

"Did you enjoy subbing?" Dean asks, curious.

Cas shrugs. "It was okay. I didn't get much from it though, not like you do. I get much much more from being a dom, and I can actually slip into a dom headspace, whereas I never had a sub headspace."

"He didn't do it for very long, to be fair," Sam says. "I think its fairly common for people that are new to the scene to sub first, because its more risky to have an inexperienced dom than an inexperienced sub..."

Dean nods in agreement. "I've been with new doms and its just awful. They're too tentative and don't actually take control, so its really hard to submit because they're not giving you anything solid to submit to."

Cas smiles, nodding emphatically. "I soon found that I was the one demanding things from my dom, not the other way round. And I don't mean that I was asking for things that I wanted to try, or that I was being a mouthy sub, I was genuinely bad at it. So when I went for one session, my dom at the time sat me down and told me that he thought I should try domming."

"Did you ever dom him?" Dean asks Sam, who shakes his head.

"Not then. We lived in the same set of flats and made friends pretty early on but we didn't realise we went to the same club for quite a while, because we went at different times. By the time we found out that about each other Cas had started being a dom."

"Did you ever... dom together?"

Sam shakes his head. "You're the only one."

That makes Dean go all warm inside, an intense feeling of absolute happiness. He's special to them already, even if just for that reason.

"What about you? How did you get into this?" Cas asks him, mindful not to bring up Dean's most recent dom.

Dean blushes. "I uh, I had a girlfriend who used to like me to do things for her..." He glances around, happy they're sat far enough away from anyone else to be able to overhear. He swallows. "Panties. And then after her I guess I started watching stuff online and found out about the whole dom/sub thing and tried to work out the sort of stuff that I'd enjoy."

"So you researched before you scened?" Sam sounds pleased, almost proud.

"I guess? But I didn't realise you could actually do that sort of stuff, I thought it was just, you know, in porn."

Cas nods. "At least you went in with some idea of what you wanted though."

"Yeah, it helped me work out that I'd be a sub in that situation. But like you two, I didn't scene until I got to college."

"Well, they do say that college is where you broaden your horizons," Cas says, grinning.

Sam raises his glass, amusement in his eyes. "To college."

Cas and Dean laugh, and raise their glasses too. "To college," they echo.

Dean checks his watch and makes a pained expression. "Speaking of college... I should probably go soon, I have early class tomorrow."

"Don't you want dessert first?" asks Cas. "It wouldn't take much longer?"

Dean chuckles. "I always try to avoid dessert when I come here."

Sam frowns. "Why? Is it awful?"

"No, its far too good." Dean laughs. "Especially the pie."

Cas sees the way Dean's eyes light up as he says that, and laughs. "Something tells me you really love pie."

Dean nods enthusiastically. "But I try not to eat too much of it, because you know, unhealthy and all."

Cas grins. "Well, as a doctor, I believe you can have a treat every now and then."

Sam rolls his eyes. "He's only saying that so he can justify his burger."

"I'll have you know I had salad for lunch," Cas protests.

Sam shakes his head at his husband in mock despair. Cas huffs, and then kisses him. Sam chuckles, and says "I'd like dessert too, if that's any help."

"It's settled then," Cas declares. "Looks like you've just _got_ to have pie now, Dean."

"Oh no, what a shame," Dean teases.

Dean orders pecan pie, and after some deliberation Sam orders a fruit tart and Cas orders lemon cheesecake. Dean has to try not to moan as he eats the first mouthful, feeling the delicious mixture disolve in his mouth. But Sam clearly notices (Cas is too focused on his cheesecake) and chuckles. "Do you want to get a room with that...?" He teases, making Dean blush.

"I'm good," Dean replies thickly, savouring the taste of the pie. "How's the cheesecake, Cas?"

"Amazing," Cas replies. "I always forget how lovely lemon is as a flavour." He offers it to Dean to take a bit, who hesitates and then does.

"Mmm, its really good," he says, surprised. He's never got anything else from here except pie. Maybe he should broaden his horizons...

He offers Cas and Sam some of his pie, rolling his eyes at their overexaggerated shocked expressions that he's sharing his beloved pie. They try some and agree with him that its absolutely gorgeous, although with a little less fervour than him.

Dean's sad by the time he finishes dessert, not wanting to leave but knowing now that he definitely has to.

"When can you come round on Saturday?" Cas asks after the waitress has taken their plates away.

Dean considers. "When do you want me?"

Sam shrugs. "Anytime after 5 is good."

"You two get off early on Saturdays?"

Cas nods. "We work longer hours during the week so we can get Saturday evening clear. And if there's anything left to do, I bring it home with me to do over the weekend."

Dean understands, but still doesn't know when he should say to turn up.

"What about 6?" Sam decides for him, noting his hesitation. "Then we can have dinner, discuss what we're going to do, and then scene without it being too late going to bed?"

Dean is relieved the decision was made for him. "Sounds great. You'll want me to stay overnight...?"

"Whenever we scene, we'd like to spend the night with you, yes. And preferably some time the next morning, but that depends on your studying."

Dean nods. "I can get work done of Friday evening and Saturday during the day so I can stay longer on Sunday?"

Sam smiles. "Excellent. If you want to bring work to ours you could always do that, but its up to you."

"I think I want to keep it separated for now, if that's okay? Because I can't really afford screwing up my studying this year."

"Of course, Dean, we understand." Cas smiles, reaching across to squeeze his hand. Dean smiles back, feeling much more relieved. They're not going to push him into anything that he doesn't want to do or isn't comfortable with. He's equal to them in these negotiations.

They split the bill, because something about Dean makes Sam and Cas think he'd be offended if they tried to pay for his meal. And eventhough he invited them out, its unrealistic to expect him to pay for all of it with his college funds.

Dean walks to their car with them and kisses both of them, thanking them for coming. Walking back to his flat, he feels much more comfortable about going to see them on Saturday than he had earlier. The knot in his stomach he hadn't even realised was there has gone, and has been replaced by quiet contentment, and a buzz of anticipation for Saturday.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! I just thought they needed a break before they go full on into the next scene - which will be fairly intense if I dare say so myself ;) 
> 
> Interestingly the hardest part of this chapter was working out what Sam and Cas would eat for dessert - I deliberated for a good hour! I'm wondering if anyone has any good ideas for what they'd particularly like, so please comment if you have any? I'm really curious, not necessarily for just this fic but generally :)  
> And I'm thinking that Dean in this probably has a food kink too... xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for another scene! Its an actual BDSM one this time, so I've listed the things that will come up below just in case there's something you want to avoid :) 
> 
> Tags for this chapter: panties, plugs, blowjobs, spanking, flogging, praise kink, some orgasm delay/denial, cuddling, aftercare

Dean arrives at the house just after 6 on Saturday evening, buzzing with excitement. He'd barely been able to stop himself smiling on the bus journey over, thinking about what was in store for him tonight. He was glad he'd got the bus - Sam had offered to come and get him, but Dean had decided against that. He didn't want to be treated like a child, being picked up and dropped off after spending time with his friends. And besides, he had a discount for public transport from being a student, so it made more sense for him to get the bus than Sam spending money on fuel to pick him up.

He walks up the little path through the front garden, briefly pausing to admire the flowerbeds on either side of the path. He re-adjusts the bag on his shoulder before knocking on the door, bouncing on the balls of his feet slightly.

Sam opens the door and grins at him. "You got here okay?"

Dean nods, smiling, and steps inside. He stretches up to kiss Sam. "Sorry I'm late."

Sam chuckles. "No worries. Cas was just getting worried about the pasta."

"Sorry Cas!" Dean calls out, and a muffled reply comes from the kitchen. Sam takes Dean's bag upstairs to the bedroom while Dean wanders through to the kitchen, where he finds Cas stirring a steaming pan of pasta, watching it intently.

"I think it's going to be okay," he says, looking across at Dean with a wry smile. He leans in for a kiss, which Dean gives him happily. "You excited?"

Dean can't contain his grin. "Very. I'm excited to find out what you've planned."

Cas laughs. "I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy it. In case we've got it completely wrong, but you'll tell us won't you?"

Dean nods. "Of course. I promise."

"Good boy," Cas says, grinning teasingly as Dean's cheeks heat up with a mixture of embarrassment and pleasure. Cas kisses his flushed cheek. "You're adorable."

Dean huffs, and is saved by Sam coming back in. Cas declares dinner is ready and the three of them sit down at the table to eat. There's a jug of water on the table and between them, Cas and Sam manage to keep Dean's glass full as soon as he drinks some.

He frowns at them. "You know I'm not into watersports."

"Hmm?" Cas says, and then realises. "Oh no, its not that. It's just important that you're properly hydrated before you scene. It's important for your body to be taken care of beforehand, and it can help you avoid a sub drop afterwards."

"I didn't know that," Dean muses.

Sam exchanges a glance with Cas before speaking. "If tonight goes as we've planned, it could get very intense. So we're trying to take precautions to make sure it doesn't get too much and overwhelm you in any way."

"We think using red, yellow, green as safewords again will work," Cas says. "At a later date we'd like to switch to having a single safeword but while we're learning what your limits are we think its best having a middle ground safeword as well as a stop word."

Dean nods in agreement. "I agree with that. It was useful having it the other night, for when I just needed a bit of time to adjust to it all."

Cas smiles. "Exactly. And we're going to ask you from time to time what your colour is, even if we think everything is okay. But if you end up in a state where you can't answer, even if you were going to say green, we'll stop the scene. Okay?"

"That sounds good. Thanks. You've thought a lot about this," Dean says, almost taken aback.

Sam smiles. "Let's just say we've discussed it over dinner pretty much every night."

"Seriously?!" Dean looks between them, trying to work out if they're lying. They're not. He huffs out a laugh. "Guys, you need to find a hobby."

Cas shrugs. "We have one. You."

Sam rolls his eyes at Cas before turning to Dean seriously. "It does sound like a lot, but we didn't want to be underprepared and give you a bad experience. And we've come up with lots of different ways the scene could go if you don't like a particular aspect, so we won't have to improvise and make it even worse."

Dean's a bit overwhelmed from that. He clutches at something he can cope with. "I've only even been okay with improvising with a couple of doms, because they knew everything I liked and didn't like, and I completely trusted them." Then he realises what that sounded like. "Not that I don't trust you two -"

Cas rests a hand on his arm. "Don't worry, Dean. We know you trust us enough to scene with us and come here, but that level of trust is something else."

"I hope we can gain it over time," Sam offers. "But right now, we're not offended by you saying that."

Cas begins piling the plates up and that appears to be a signal, because Sam's expression changes slightly. "Are you okay to start now?"

"Yes please," Dean replies, heartrate rising with excitement.

Sam gives him a warm smile. "Go to our bedroom, and there's two things on the bed that we want you to wear for us. The third thing, we want you to bring downstairs with you when you come back, and we'll help you with it."

Dean's mind is whirring, wondering what could possibly be waiting for him upstairs.

"But, Dean?" Cas's voice snaps him out of his thoughts. "If you don't want to do it, come back downstairs and tell us red. And we'll do something else."

"Do you understand?" Sam says, and Dean nods, body tingling with anticipation.

"What your colour?" Cas asks.

"Green." He replies definitely, making them both smile.

"Off you go then," Sam says, nodding upstairs. Dean obeys immediately, legs shaking slightly from excitement as he climbs the stairs.

He reaches the bedroom door, which is slightly ajar, and takes a deep breath before pushing it open.

His breath hitches and is followed by a whimper as he sees what's on the bed.

Panties. A pair of soft, green panties, with white lace around the edges. Dean's mind scrambles to function, his legs moving shakily over to the bed unbidden. He sits down hard, and runs his fingers gently over them, groaning at how soft they are, thinking about how perfect they'll feel on his cock. His cock is already hard in his jeans, and he whimpers as he undoes them and takes them off. Once his boxers are off, it slaps up against his chest, leaving a dribble of precome. Fuck. He's already so turned on.

He unbuttons his shirt with shaking fingers, and finally he's naked, staring down at the horribly perfect panties on the bed in front of him. He squeezes his eyes shut as he steps into them, whining at the soft drag up his legs. He pauses with them around the top of his thighs, preparing himself. He pulls them up, moaning loudly as the material settles against his cock and balls. He opens his eyes, and groans at how hard he is, how tight the panties are against him.

It's only then he notices what else they've left out for him. A soft grey t-shirt - he smiles fondly despite his arousal, he hadn't realised that Sam had noticed how much he liked his t-shirts. He pulls it over his head, quite pleased with how the hem falls just over the top of his panties. He's aroused as hell, but that doesn't mean he isn't nervous about what they'll think. It'll be nice to be able to cover himself up if they're not happy.

The other thing is a pale pink butt plug, and his hips jerk forward just thinking about it. It's bigger than the one he had in the other night, but its not unmanageable. He toys with it, glad they've said they'll put it in for him - he thinks he'd come all over himself if he had to.

He doesn't mean to stall, but he suddenly realises that his mouth tastes of pasta sauce, and he goes and brushes his teeth quickly. Catching sight of himself in the mirror nearly makes him come, he looks so aroused and god, the fucking panties...

Suddenly feeling shy, he peeks down the stairs. He hears quiet talking in the lounge, and smooths his hands over his panties, which he then regrets because he's so fucking hard. He's probably leaking precome on to them already, and they're so pale...

He takes a deep breath and wobbles down the stairs. The lounge door is open and he hesitates in the corridor, fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt. Sam must notice a movement because he looks across and his mouth drops open. He lets out a little gaspy noise, which alerts Cas to Dean's presences. He turns and his face of shock matches Sam's.

Just as Dean is starting to get self conscious, Sam recovers and stands up, hurrying over to him. "Oh god, Dean. Look at you."

Dean blushes bright red. "You like it...?" He isn't trying to be coy, he's genuinely worried about what they think.

Sam pulls him closer, running his hands over the globes of Dean's panty-covered ass. Dean moans as his cock ruts against Sam's jeans. "I love them Dean. You look so beautiful."

Dean's blush deepened. "Th-ank you," he stutters out.

He looks across at Cas who is watching him with a hungry expression and suddenly Cas is kissing him, practically devouring his mouth.

"So fucking good, Dean," Cas growls, as Dean mewls desperately against him. "So hot, oh my god, so perfect."

"Cas chose them for you," Sam murmurs in Dean's ear, squeezing his ass. "He chose well didn't he?"

Dean nods frantically, unable to form actual words.

"Do you want the plug in?" Sam asks, as Cas has started kissing down Dean' neck, clearly annoyed that there's a t-shirt in the way of getting to all of Dean's skin.

"Please Sam," Dean gasps.

Cas pulls away as Sam helps Dean lie over the arm of the sofa. Dean's breath hitches, thinking of how good it would be to be spanked like this. He hears a low chuckle, and looks to see Cas watching his ass. "Don't worry Dean, we'll spank you soon enough."

Dean moans. How had Cas known he'd been thinking that?

Sam eases his panties down but leaves them over his cock, and Dean whimpers at the increased pressure. Sam pauses. "Do you want a cock ring, Dean?"

Dean considers, and then shakes his head. He wants to be good for them, and not come because he makes himself do that, not because he can't.

"Alright," Sam's hands move soothingly over his ass. "But if its too much and you think you're going to come, what do you tell me?"

"Yellow," Dean gasps. "I'll say yellow."

"Good boy," Sam praises, and he eases his first finger inside. Dean trembles. Cas's hands are in his hair then, soothing him as Sam works him open. Dean gasps loudly as Sam's fingers brush his prostate, and his hips jerk into the arm of the sofa.

"Colour, Dean?" Cas asks, voice soothing, not like the rough-ready-to-fuck voice from earlier.

"Aahh, green, I just need" he gasps again. "Some help, please."

Cas offers him two fingers and Dean sucks them gratefully. He sucks harder as Sam stretches him wider, eyes squeezed shut as he tries to hold off coming.

"Sam's going to put the plug in now, okay?" Dean nods around Cas's fingers, not wanting to stop sucking them. He peeks his eyes open and sees the large bulge in Cas's slacks and makes himself moan, wishing he had Cas's cock in his mouth.

"Want something, Dean?" Cas says with a smirk, making Dean whine. Cas pulls his fingers out of Dean's mouth so Dean has to answer him, who gives a loud groan as Sam pushes the plug into his ass.

"Your cock, please?" He begs, voice wrecked as Sam checks the plug is sat right in his ass.

Cas pulls him into a kiss. "On your knees sweetheart."

Dean scrambles to obey, whimpering as he adjusts to the plug in his ass. It pushes against his prostate as he settle on his knees at Cas's feet, making him gasp.

Cas has taken his cock out, and is stroking it firmly, watching Dean's expression. "I could tell how much you wanted this from how you were sucking my fingers," he says. "Open up, sweetheart." Dean obeys eagerly and is rewarded by Cas gently pushing his cock into Dean's mouth. A hand grasps his hair gently, holding him but not restricting him as he bobs forward and back on Cas's cock. He sucks and licks, wanting to give Cas the best blowjob he's even had.

"Fuck, Dean, you're so good -"

Sam steps up next to his husband, stroking his own cock, smirking down at Dean. "Should have known he'd have a gorgeous mouth."

"Mmm," Cas replies. "His lips stretch round me so well, and the things he doesn't with his tongue, god they should be illegal."

Dean's cock is straining from the blowjob, the praise, the slight humiliation from having them talk about him like that. He sucks harder, making Cas gasp, and its not long before Cas comes hard in his throat. Dean swallows every drop eagerly, making Cas moan and then laugh quietly. "You're so perfect, Dean," he says softly, making Dean smile widely, his lips wet with Cas's come.

Dean turns to Sam. "Please, Sam," he begs. "Let me taste you too."

Cas fondles Sam's balls as Sam pushes his cock into Dean's waiting mouth. He's already so close that it only takes a few minutes for Sam to come with a cry down Dean's throat as well. They pull him up, covering him with kisses, murmuring about how good he is, how beautiful he looks, how perfectly he sucked them off. Cas's hands push up under his t-shirt, tugging his nipples lightly, making Dean cry out into Sam's mouth.

"I'm too close, please -" Cas eases off, letting his t-shirt fall back down. Sam rubs his back, as Dean trembles, fighting off his orgasm. Their touching becomes more soothing and the need to come fades enough that Dean can think again. They help him onto the sofa, Sam sitting in one corner, and he pulls Dean so he's leaning against his chest. Cas sits next to him, lifting his legs onto his lap.

"Okay?" Cas murmurs, rubbing soothing circles on his legs as Sam strokes his hair.

Dean nods, feeling the trembling ease off as he focuses on their movements. "Its intense," he whispers, but its loud enough that they can both hear.

Sam glances at Cas. "Is it too much? We have something that's more intense than that planned...?"

Dean shakes his head. "No, I want to keep going." He looks at them in turn. "Do I get to come after the next thing?" Sam nods. Dean lets out a breath. "I'll be okay. These panties are just so... soft."

Cas chuckles. "I didn't foresee just how much they'd turn you on. I just thought they matched your eyes." Dean blushes, but smiles.

Sam holds a glass of water with a straw in for Dean and Dean drinks eagerly. He didn't realise how dehydrated he'd got, even with all he'd drunk at dinner.

"You believe me now?" Cas says with a small fond smile.

Dean nods, and Sam puts the water down. "I think we should take a break, before we move on with the scene? To let you settle?"

"I'm fine," Dean protests, and Cas kisses him.

"We know," Cas tells him. "But you could be better, with a little bit of rest. We want you to really enjoy this."

Dean gives up arguing, letting Sam wrap his arms around him as he settles back. Cas turns the TV on and finds a random show and puts it on a low volume. Dean watches without really taking in what's going on, relaxing as Cas and Sam sooth his body with soft touches and gentle kisses. He slips further into his subspace, giving them the power and control to touch him how they like, take care of him in the way they think is best for him. He sighs against Sam's neck, making Sam laugh quietly into his hair.

His cock is still hard but its lost the painful raging erection feeling, so he doesn't react too much when Cas begins running his fingers lightly over his panties. A finger brushes his balls and he gasps - he hadn't realised how full and sensitive they are. Sam keeps soothing him with gentle touches, which is the only thing that stops him trembling again as Cas's fingers dance their way up his sensitive inner thighs. He hold his breath as Cas stops just below his cock and balls, and he finds himself tense, both straining towards the fingers and simultaneously against.

"Relax," Sam murmurs. "Let us decide, Dean."

Dean closes his eyes and focuses on breathing. Slowly, his body relaxes, even though Cas's fingers haven't move.

"Good boy," Sam praises, kissing his hair. Cas's hands move up to push the t-shirt away from Dean's hips, and trails his fingers along Dean's now exposed hipbones and lower abdomen.

"You're so good for us, Dean." Cas murmurs. "Taking what I give you so well."

Dean's reply is a quiet whimper. His cock is quickly getting towards full hardness again, and there's already a wet patch of precome on his panties.

"Should we tell you what's going to happen next here or in the bedroom?" Sam asks, and Dean's heart rate quickens. Sam's hands are on Dean's chest and he notices the change, chuckling quietly. "So excited, aren't you baby?"

"Yes," Dean groans. "In the bedroom, please."

"You're ready to move on now?" Cas asks, his fingers sitting on the lace just about Dean's cock.

Dean swallows. "Do you think I am?"

Cas's face breaks into a near radiant smile. "You're so perfect. I think you're ready now, yes."

"Then green," Dean replies, and Cas rewards him by brushes his fingers over his cock; Dean's hips buck forward and he moans as he sits back down, pushing back on his plug.

Sam helps him up the stairs, Dean's legs shaking slightly from being so aroused again. Cas follows them, collecting water and juice from the kitchen on the way up, in preparation for aftercare. It would be much nicer not to have to leave the room after the scene, so they can take care of Dean between them right from the start.

Sam sits on the bed, and pulls Dean so he's strandling his lap. He helps Dean take his t-shirt off, dropping it onto the bed behind him. The position on Sam's lap makes the panties even tighter on his cock, and the plug shifts deeper, pushing against his prostate. Dean moans, pressing his forehead into Sam's shoulder.

Cas busies himself fetching things out of their wardrobe while Dean tries to stop himself rutting against Sam. Which is hard because Sam's hands are massaging his ass cheeks so deftly that it makes him rock gently anyway.

"Okay, this is the plan  Dean," Sam begins. "I'm going to spank you first. And you can either come from that, or..." He lifts Dean's chin to look at what Cas has laid out on the bed. "You can pick one of those and Cas will use it on you until you come."

Dean's eyes are wide and his hips stutter against Sam as he surveys the bed. There's a cane, a whip, a paddle, and a flogger. He knows immediately which one he wants.

"The flogger," he bursts out. "Please Cas."

Cas nods, and moves the others out of the way.

"What is your safeword, Dean?" Sam asks, moving the back of his panties down so his ass is naked to the room.

"Red for stop, yellow for slow down," Dean answers immediately, trembling with excitement.

Sam kisses him. "Good boy. Now over my lap, baby."

Dean obeys, lying so his body is supported by the bed but his ass is pushed up over Sam's knees. Sam begins rubbing his ass again, warming him up for what's to come.

The first slap is lighter than he expects, but he jerks from the surprise of it. Sam pauses, making Dean gasp out "green."

That's all it takes for Sam's hand to come down on his ass again. He's more prepared this time, and lets out a quiet whimper. The third slap lands right on his plug and a moan rips through him.

It doesn't take long for Sam to find his pace. The slaps get harder and harder and Dean's ass is starting to burn, but it feels so fucking good, and its not long before tears of pleasure are streaming down his face. Cas kneels infront of him and wipes them away, and asks for his colour - Dean chokes out "really fucking green," which makes Cas laugh and stroke his hair. He's rutting into Sam's leg, sensations threatening to overwhelm him: the smooth panties against his cock, the rough texture of Sam's jeans, the hot red pleasure on his ass, the plug that keeps bumping against his prostate, he feels the heat of an orgasm approaching -

"Stop, stop, I'm -" Sam's hand immediately stop spanking him, and Dean gasps as he tries to stop himself rutting against Sam's thighs. Sam's hands stroke his back soothingly, and Cas wipes away his tears. His breathing calms enough and Sam helps him sit up. Dean blushes at the huge wet patch on the front of his panties, and the tip of his rock hard cock that's peeking out over the waistband on his panties.

Cas holds the flogger up in front of him. "Colour?" He asks, and Dean know he can say no.

Dean nods. "Green."

Cas smiles, and Sam helps Dean stand up so he can take his panties off, making him completely naked except for the plug nestled in his cheeks.

"All fours on the bed sweetheart," Cas tells him, and Dean obeys, slightly worried that his legs won't hold him up long enough. Sam sits in front of him on the bed, watching his face and his reactions closely.

Cas begins running the flogger over his already red ass, making Dean moan, and then over his cock, making him jerk his hips forward.

The first strike makes him close his eyes from the pleasure of being struck in so many places at once. This is why floggers are better than whips, he thinks, his last coherent thought as Cas brings the flogger down on his ass again.

He keeps the strikes light, but it feels so much more intense on Dean's spanked ass, and he can't hold back the whimpers and moans from the sensations. All he feels is pleasure, insane pleasure, his is cock leaking hard, precome dripping onto the sheets beneath him.

It's when Cas lets a strike fall on his balls that he nearly loses it. "Oh god," he groans out, hips stuttering, hands gripping the sheets desperately.

Cas strikes his ass, and then his balls again, alternating between the two until Dean is a shaking, almost incoherent wreck on the bed. Silent tears slide down his cheeks from the intense stimulation, and his whole body trembles with the simultaneous need to come and not come, to be a good boy for them and wait. Cas exchanges a glance with Sam, and decides that Dean's almost at the end of his stamina.

Dean feels a hard blow land on his ass and then Cas strikes between his legs. He cries out as it hits his balls and his leaking cock, and he's coming hard, collapsing onto the bed as the aftershocks ripple through him.

Immediately there's hands on him, rolling his limp body out of the puddle of come he's just made on the bed, soft voices murmuring praise, lips kissing him... He drifts, higher than he's even felt before.

When he drifts back down, hands are rubbing cream into his burning ass, and the come that had spurted onto his chest and neck has been cleaned off. He sighs contentedly as skilled hands rub away all the aches he didn't even realise he had.

"Okay?" Cas asks, soothing out his arms that are aching from holding himself up for so long.

Dean nods into the pillow. "Thank you, was amazing," he replies drowsily, still riding his high.

He tries to protests when Sam starts rubbing more cream onto his ass and balls.

"I want to feel it tomorrow," he whines, worried that Sam will take away his chance to remember tonight over the following week every time he sits down.

Sam laughs quietly. "You will baby, don't worry. I'm just taking the sting out of it for you."

Dean huffs, but loses himself in the feeling of their hands again. Eventually he reaches a level that he feels he's somewhat in control of his own body, and tries to sit up. They respond immediately, helping him sit up (despite all the cream he winces slightly as his now pyjama clad ass touches the bed). A straw is pressed into his mouth and he sucks, the rich burst of orange juice overwhelming his senses. He shakes his head. "Water, please?" The straw is replaced by another one and he drinks contentedly, the water soothing his throat that's raw from crying.

"Was everything okay tonight?" Sam asks, concern in his eyes, cuddling Dean close to him, touching him gently.

Dean grins widely, although to the others he looks slightly drunk. "Hell yes! It was so hot, I could have come about twenty times."

"Was the spanking and the flogging one after the other alright...?" Cas looks anxious, running his fingers through Dean's hair. "We didn't know if it would be too much..."

Dean shakes his head. "I said green, didn't I? It was great, all of it. You don't have to look so worried."

Cas smiles and kisses him. "It's just important to check the first time."

Dean's head flops against Cas's shoulder. "You guys did great."

Sam laughs. "Thanks Dean. You did amazingly, I wasn't completely sure you'd go through with it all."

Dean shrugs. "It was intense, but not too much. It was the panties that were the worst."

Cas ruffles his hair. "We're going to have to get you some more pairs aren't we?"

Dean snuggles down under the duvet, trying to hide his embarrassment and eagerness. "Yes please."

They cuddle up, Sam and Cas kissing him and murmuring about how good he was, enveloping Dean in a sense of safety and warmth and love. Dean's body has recovered enough that he's able to drink his orange juice, and Cas offers him chocolate like last time.

Dean rolls his eyes, still able to be slightly exasperated with Cas even though he's running on a high from the scene. "You're going to make me fat."

"You've burnt a lot of energy, Dean, even if it doesn't feel like you have." Sam tells him.

"And chocolate helps with avoiding a sub drop." Dean squints at Cas disbelievingly. Cas smirks. "Trust me, I'm a doctor."

Dean rolls his eyes and eats it anyway, letting it dissolve in his mouth. Thinking about it, he is very tired.

"Think you could sleep?" Sam asks, noting his expression.

"Yeah, probably." He lets out an involuntary yawn. "I feel so... floppy?"

Sam chuckles. "Looks like we've worn you out then."

"It's a good floppy though," Dean tells them, as he settles down between them to sleep. "Thanks for taking care of me."

Sam kisses his cheek as Cas kisses his forehead. "Anytime, Dean. Thank you for letting us."

They make sure they're both touching him as he falls asleep, making him feel safe and looked after. They wait to see Dean fall asleep before they even consider it for themselves, before settling down, both relieved. They'd been so worried that it would be too much for him, but they had to try things to see what his limits were. He'd proved to them that he'd safeword if it was too much.

Sam's thought as he fell asleep was wondering what they could do next time to make Dean so happy and blissed out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a heads up: I'm thinking of changing the name of this fic to "Tell Me I'm Good Enough" or something along those lines - its a song by a guy called Darren Hayes and I was listening to it the other day and its all about being insecure and unconditional love and stuff and it just really seems to fit with how Dean feels ? So if you suddenly can't find this fic, it'll be because I changed the name of it :)
> 
> Anyway, I hope this chapter was okay! I couldn't decide whether Dean would prefer flogging or spanking so I thought I'd put both in, although I'm sure that's completely unrealistic. But look, Dean finally got proper aftercare!!  
> I'm going to stop talking now, thanks for reading! xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looks like I can't have things happy for too long before I feel the need to wreck it a bit.
> 
> (Telling you these because I don't want to trigger anyone - flashbacks, nightmares, abuse, physical abuse/violence, panic attacks, ignored safeword)

_The cuffs dig into his wrists, just on the painful side of tight. His ankles too, bound against the cross, spreading him out so everyone can see his now reddened ass._

_The flogger comes down again, making him hiss. He clenches his hands tighter, focusing on the pleasure side of the pain. I want this, I want this, he tells himself._

_Then the flogger is coming down harder and harder, and he shifts, trying to move away, to lessen the blow. It's just too hard..._

_"Ease off," he says, eyes squeezed tightly shut._

_His demand goes unnoticed and the strikes come down harder and harder, faster and faster -_

_And suddenly he's plummeting, thrown out of the pleasure and all he can feel is the pain, the sharp sickening pain in his ass and on his back and legs -_

_"Kansas."_

_Another strike._

_He struggles, thinking he hasn't been heard. "Kansas!" He raises his voice._

_There's a harsh laugh. "Come on bitch, I know you can take more than that."_

_His body is burning as he's struck again. His mind scrambles, and -_

_Panic._

_"Kansas!" He yells, unable to stop himself from screaming over and over. "Kansas, Kansas!"_

_Still the strikes don't stop coming down harder and harder, his skin is on fire, he's burning -_

_His throat feels too tight and he can't breathe, and the cuffs are too tight and he can't get away - he tugs desperately, tears streaming down his face as he tries to escape -_

_"Benny!" He screams himself hoarse. "Benny, help, Benny!"_

_He can't see, his vision is blurring out, he can't hear, he can't breathe, he can't move, he can't breathe -_

_He dimly hears voices calling his name, feels arms shaking him. Why are they shaking him, he can't move, what are they doing, just get the cuffs off -_

He barely registers waking, barely registers the hands that are trying to help him, to soothe him. All he can see is his own beaten and bloody back and he's up and staggering and somehow he makes it to the bathroom. He vomits, choking on his raw throat, gagging, more tears streaming down his face.

There's hands in his hair, hands rubbing his back and he tries to focus with his tear glazed eyes.

"Dean, Dean, what's going on?" He dimly recognises that its Sam, but all he can see is those cruel eyes and the cruel smirk and the feeling of being punished for something he's not quite sure what is it -

He doubles over again, retching. He's trembling, his whole body is shaking and suddenly he's limp, almost falling against the hard toilet rim if hands hadn't have caught him, gathering him up -

He sobs then, clutching desperately to whoever is kind enough to hold him, to stop him cracking his head open. Someone is talking and he hears himself reply but he doesn't know what he says, and he curls up inside of himself, trying to shut everything out that can hurt him.

He feels himself being helped up and led back to bed, but he won't let go of the shirt of who he's clinging to. It's all he has.

He sobs as his mind shuts down, forcing him into unconsciousness.

-

Dean wakes later that morning, feeling like he's been run over by a truck. His throat feels like sandpaper that someone has thrown petrol on and set alight. And then he remembers why, and he crumples in on himself, shame and fear overwhelming him. He doesn't want to open his eyes, knowing they'll be watching him. He doesn't want to have to have this conversation, he doesn't want their pitying eyes and their shocked expressions at how fucking tragic his life seems.

A hand is stroking his hair, so gently he didn't realise at first. He tries to stop himself pressing gently back against it, he doesn't deserve this, he doesn't deserve this care -

He lets out a tiny choked sob and his pretense of being asleep is over. He feels a kiss to his forehead, and he can't help peaking his eyes open to see who it is. Sam. Sam, who's shirt is still fisted up in Dean's hand, and he releases it, wincing at the pain in his hand from being so tense for so many hours.

Cas is stroking his hair, sitting up behind him so he can watch Dean's expressions too. Dean's words are caught in his tortured rough throat. He doesn't know what to say, what he can possibly say to explain or not explain what happened.

"You don't have to say anything yet, okay?" Sam murmurs, cupping his cheek with his hand. "Let's take care of you first, okay, and then you can talk about what happened if you want to."

Dean nods, tears burning in his sensitive eyes. He doesn't deserve this. They're too good to him.

Cas helps him sit up, and cradles him against his chest as Sam goes to fetch things from the kitchen. He comes back with water and milk, and grapes. Dean drinks the water gratefully, as it soothes the burning in his throat a bit.

"How sore is it?" Cas murmurs, looking worried.

"Sore," Dean croaks out.

Cas makes a sad, sympathetic sound and kisses his cheek.

Sam feeds him grapes, as Cas watches Dean swallow. He isn't wincing too much, which is good, but he still doesn't look comfortable.

After he finishes the water, Cas helps him up and they go to the bathroom. Dean avoids looking at himself in the mirror, not wanting to see how wrecked he looks. Cas helps him strip out of the pyjamas he's been wearing and strips himself before climbing into the shower with Dean. They're both naked but Dean doesn't feel like Cas wants anything sexual out of it. He wraps his arms around Cas as Cas fiddles with the temperature, getting it comfortably warm. Cas's hands come to his hair again, before one rubs up and down his back. Dean sobs, more calmly than last night, sobs at the feeling of being touched and cared for.

"My beautiful boy," Cas murmurs. "So, so beautiful."

Dean shakes his head, but Cas presses a finger to his lips. "I know you feel awful right now, Dean. And I don't completely know why, but I can guess some of it. So you feel like you don't deserve any of this. But you do, you deserve everything, and we just have to prove that to you."

Dean can't comprehend why they could possibly want him, he's too broken, he's not good enough for them. So he stays silent as Cas holds him in the shower. The water does help him relax a bit though, and Cas's soothing hands help to ease some of the tension in his body.

He does feel slightly better when he gets out of the shower, and Sam brings them both clean pyjamas. They go back to the bedroom, where Sam has changed all the sheets and pillows on the bed. He's made a smoothie too, but Dean doesn't feel like drinking it yet. Part of him just wants to go to sleep again and forget the whole thing.

He leans against Sam, cradled in his arms while Cas sits on the bed next to him, hands gently on his legs.

"Dean, I -" Sam's voice is cracked with emotion, and Dean looks up startled. Why is Sam this upset?

"I - I can't make you tell us things, and if you don't want to, that's fine and you don't have to but -" Sam is rambling, trying to avoid his point.

Cas touches Sam's hand soothingly. "Sam doesn't think we should scene again unless we know what triggered this."

Dean stares at Cas. "You don't want to scene again?"

"Oh Dean, of course we do. You're perfect and beautiful and we're so so lucky to have you." Cas's voice is so sincere that Dean can't protest against that.

"What I meant was..." Sam swallows hard. "If that happens after we scene I can't put you in that position again. It's too dangerous for you, it's not fair and it's not right, we'd be putting you in an unsafe place every time we scene and I can't do that." Dean squeezes his hand, and Sam focuses on him. Dean is shocked to see Sam is crying. "I can't see you like that again," he whispers, as if he's ashamed that his own pain can be voiced in the same room that Dean suffered last night. 

"You don't have to tell us now," Cas says quietly. "Just... before the next time you want to scene. But we can go for dinner or you can come round or something until you're ready -"

They don't want to lose him, Dean realises suddenly. They want him. In whatever form he comes, they want him.

"Can I have a drink?" He asks quietly, and Cas passes him water. He swallows, considering how to say it. He wants to do it now, before he turns inward again and can't express himself.

"My last dom ignored my safeword," he begins quietly. "While I was chained up so I couldn't move. And - I - I panicked but he still kept going." He doesn't want to close his eyes, he doesn't want to relive it again, so he keeps his eyes fixed on the bed in front of him.

"What were you doing?" Sam asks after a decent pause has stretched out. "What scene was it?"

Dean takes a deep breath. "Flogging."

Cas jerks, like he's been shot. "Why didn't you tell us, why didn't you say?" He's completely aghast at what he's done. "I wouldn't have if -"

"Cas, it's not your fault!" Dean replies, shocked at how upset he is. "I didn't know this would happen. And flogging is my favourite, it always has been. It didn't cross my mind that it would happen like that."

Cas still looks upset, but he nods.

"How did you get away?" Sam asks, stroking his hair softly.

"I - I don't know. Benny says he stepped in and got me down, three people had to pull Al - him away. I blacked out at some point, and then I woke up in the back rooms throwing up all over the floor."

"Oh my God," Cas whispers. Sam is unable to speak.

Dean swallows hard. "It uh it fucked me up pretty bad. I didn't get out of bed for a week, I had nightmares..."

"Like last night?"

Dean nods jerkily. "And other things we did." He looks at Cas, anxious for him to understand. "It's never the flogging I have nightmares about. It's - not being able to get away or say stop."

Sam rubs his arms soothingly. "We'd never put you in that position."

Dean begins to cry. "I know you wouldn't. Which is why I feel so bad making you feel so guilty when it's not your fault and you'd never do that to me -" His sobs take over and Sam pulls him in closer murmuring quietly, kissing his hair and his forehead. He exchanges a helpless glance with Cas who has shuffled forward to rub Dean's back in soothing circles. 

"Sweetheart, we don't feel guilty..." Cas begins, trying to work out what he's trying to say. "We're just upset because we didn't know, and we want to take such good care of you. You deserve so much, Dean, and we're just upset that someone didn't give it to you and treated you this way."

Dean sobs, nodding into Sam's chest.

"Dean..." Sam gently tilts Dean's head up so he has to look at him properly. "I know you probably thought you'd buried all this, but we can't let it come out like this, after a scene. We need to know what will trigger you, what could possibly trigger you. We need to know the other stuff he did, but not today if you're not ready, or we can do it later after we've taken care of you."

Dean swallows and nods, and Sam brushes away his tears. "I - I don't know if I'm ready yet."

Cas kisses his hair. "Of course, Dean. You don't have to rush this."

Sam strokes a hand through his hair. "Do you want to cuddle in bed, or we can cuddle on the couch in front of the TV?"

Dean considers. "Couch, please." Maybe the TV will distract him from feeling so awful.

Sam holds his hand as they walk downstairs, and Cas brings a large soft blanket and the smoothie Sam made earlier. Sam has tucked Dean next to him on the sofa, and Cas lays the blanket over them, passing Sam the smoothie. Cas watches as Sam manages to get Dean to drink some as he turns the TV on, and then passes Dean the remote to find something to watch. He makes coffee before coming back to find Indiana Jones on, and cuddles up under the blanket next to the others. Dean resettles himself so he's equally leaning against both of them, and Cas kisses his forehead.

"I'll make breakfast when you feel up to eating," Cas tells him, and Dean smiles slightly and kisses him properly. He still looks incredibly vulnerable and haunted and Cas hates it, he hates how Dean's been treated, that he ends up feeling like this. But he doesn't want to upset Dean further so he just makes sure the blanket is tucked round him properly and he's comfortable, before embracing him loosely, and turning his attention to the film.

Dean has seen this film so many times before, and he thought it would comfort him. And its trying, it really is, but its just not getting there. It is calming him down though, but knowing the story so well is making it difficult for him to lose himself in it. He drinks his smoothie absentmindedly - its banana and strawberries and raspberries and its really good, its soothing his throat so much, but he finds his mind drifting from the film too much. And then he feels guilty, because Cas and Sam are trying so hard to make him feel better and its just not working, he's just not good enough to be healed that quickly. He's too damaged.

He grabs the remote and turns the volume down. The two of them look at him, slightly startled.

"I want to tell you the other stuff," he says, voice shaking slightly.

Cas frowns. "Dean you don't have to yet -"

Dean shakes his head. "I can't concentrate on anything. Please. I want to tell you."

"Okay," Sam squeezes his hand under the blanket. "As much or as little as you want."

Dean nods, trying to keep his confidence. "We always scened at the club. Never anywhere else. And - I was, am, into pain. A lot of it." He swallows. "And he was the one everyone went to for beatings. So I did. And - at the start, it was great. It honestly was. Because he pushed until he found my limits. But - later - he kept pushing - past them. He didn't know when to stop."

"I'm sure he did," Cas growled out, making Dean smile tiredly.

"Yeah, I'm sure he did too," Dean echoes quietly. "But... there was other stuff. He - found about about the whole... panties thing." Dean blushes bright red. "And um, he'd make me wear them. And skirts and makeup, and sometimes high heels, and he'd parade me round, talking about what a slutty little girl I was..." He trails off, fighting the memory. "And I hated it. But I thought I liked the humiliation, so I kept going with it. And then - he'd uh, make me come from it all and I thought well I must like it, you know?"

"But you didn't?" Sam asks quietly.

Dean shakes his head vehemently. "I hated it. So... I like wearing panties, but I don't want anything else, and I don't want you calling me a girl?" He starts off defiant but trails off by the end, unsure of how they'll take it.

Cas squeezes his hand. "We promise we won't feminize you. Panties don't really have a gender anyway."

Dean shoots him a grateful and relieved look.

"He also did - master/slave stuff..." Dean trails off again. "He'd make me wear a collar and he'd order me to do the craziest shit, and I sort of enjoyed it the first time but after that I wasn't into it and I didn't know how to tell him..."

Sam rubs his arm soothingly, helping Dean ground himself and stopping him from getting lost and overwhelmed.

"I know I'd be able to tell you if I wasn't happy," Dean says, almost anxiously, looking between them. "I would."

Cas runs his hands through Dean's hair. "We know, Dean. And we'd never push you into something you didn't want."

"Was there... anything else?" Sam asks tentatively.

Dean chokes slightly. "He used to suggest passing me round his friends, letting them have their way with me. Because, you know, I was such a huge slut, I'd love it." Dean looks physically sick. "It's why I refused to scene at his place. Because I was terrified he'd act on what he said."

"Oh god," Sam looks as sick as Dean feels.

"But... this is okay?" Cas is now unsure if what they're doing is right.

Dean stares at him. "Cas, this is completely different. He wanted to pass me round strangers, I know you two. And I've consented to this. And it makes me happy."

Cas nods, and kisses his cheek. "I want to kill this guy."

Dean clears his throat awkwardly. "Well, that might be hard. He's in prison, for kidnapping and abusing young men."

"Jesus Christ..." Now everyone feels sick. They don't say it aloud, but they're all thinking that it could have happened to Dean.

"He was a sick bastard," Dean whispers. "And he really fucked me up, and what I felt about submitting, and myself, who I was. And... I'm still not over it."

"It's okay, we've got you." Sam's arms wrap tighter around him, and Cas nods firmly in agreement.

"You need to tell us if the scene we've planned overlaps with anything he did to you, okay? Anything that you haven't already told us." Cas says.

Dean kisses Cas's cheek. "I promise I will. But I can't promise that this won't happen again..." He trails off.

"We'll understand if it does, but we'd be much happier if we can avoid it. And if we can't, we'll have to discuss all this again, okay?" Sam soothes him. "But it won't be automatically over, don't worry."

"Thank you," Dean whispers. He leans back against the sofa, into their arms, feeling much more relieved and at ease.

Cas kisses his forehead. "Time for breakfast?"

Dean smiles, the first time that morning, and it fills them with relief. "Yes please."

They eat breakfast, and then cuddle on the sofa for the rest of the day. They'd rather he didn't have to go back to his flat, and that he could stay there with them, but they know they can't do that. They do impress onto Dean when he leaves though that he can text or call them whenever he needs to, and not to hesitate. Especially if he experiences the same thing again.

That night, despite being alone, Dean doesn't have any nightmares, and gets the first good night's sleep in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not happy with this chapter, but its been sitting in my drafts for nearly two months and I think its become a block that I just need to get over - I'll probably go back and end up editing it. But anyway, I think it was important for Dean to have something like this so that they can all gain more trust in each other and Sam and Cas can take care of him etc.
> 
> Hopefully there won't be such a long break before I manage to write the next chapter, I had really important exams, and then I was struggling to write because I was exhausted from it all xx


End file.
